The car was fine.
I drove around, making sure to get up on the throughway just to get that over with, then found my way back to our favourite road, the River Parkway and home.
"Hah", I said, "piece of cake!" I didn't actually say it out loud though because I realized that my backteeth were actually grinding against each other by the time I got out of the car, which is an impediment to speech.
I wish I could say that I miraculously remembered how to put the top up, but that just didn't happen. I tried a few things, left it spiffily still-converted, and emailed Emily, who had the answer. I'd been trying to get the top up by pressing on the top-down button, and I hadn't remembered about being in neutral. Apart from that, I was doing fine. By the way, I feel totally absolved about the buttons because, foolishly, Mazda put pictures above the button that show you how to achieve what you want and I thought the pictures said, "press this button and this action will happen", so of course, I got it backwards.
Anyway, I just know that the Miata and I will be great friends after I've put in some time driving. Check in again around this time next year.