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Tuesday, 18 January 2011

No longer a twin

I heard that because of a wobble, the zodiacal signs have changed their timeframes. 

Here's the explanation:
A Minnesota astronomer confirms what many have suspected: Your horoscope is quite possibly wrong.
Earth's shifts on its axis over the past 3,000 years have changed the 12 zodiac signs. For example, think your sign is Aquarius? You may be a Pisces. (There's also a 13th sign, Ophiuchus, that's based on a constellation the ancient Babylonians threw out for symmetry thousands of years ago.)
So who's to blame for this scam on zodiac devotees?
The ancient Babylonians based the zodiac on which constellation the sun appeared to be in when a person was born. Since then, the moon's has exerted a gravitation pull on Earth, causing a "wobble" on its axis that has shifted the stars' alignment by about a month, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune reports.
"Because of this change in the tilt, the Earth is over here and the sun is in a different constellation than it was 3,000 years ago when this study of the stars began," astronomer Parke Kunkle told the Twin Cities' KARE-TV.
The shift isn't new, Kunkle says -- the zodiac world just hasn't taken the wobble into account.
Here's the new signs below:
Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
Pisces: March 11-April 18
Aries: April 18-May 13
Taurus: May 13-June 21
Gemini: June 21-July 20
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23-Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20

When I checked my sign, I found that I am wrongly-aligned and instead of being a Gemini, I am now a Taurus.

First of all I would prefer to have a sign rooted in classical languages rather than one that sounds like a German car.

Secondly, I think that because I was a Gemini for 68 years, I should be grand-fathered as a Gemini.

Don't take my word for it though.  Look at the traits for Geminis and those for Taurusses.  I'm sure you'll see that I'm entirely unsuited to the Taurus family:

Gemini traits

Adaptable and versatile
Communicative and witty
Intellectual and eloquent
Youthful and lively

On the dark side....

Nervous and tense
Superficial and inconsistent
Cunning and inquisitive


Taurus Traits

Patient and reliable (ha!  I don't think so!! damn it!)
Warmhearted and loving (blah! where's the passion?)
Persistent and determined  (I don't know.  what do you think?)
Placid and security loving (I'll take my chances with that one, Bozo)

On the dark side....
Jealous and possessive (not in a million years)
Resentful and inflexible (I just knew you'd think that was me!!)

Self-indulgent and greedy (say it isn't so....well, maybe self-indulgent)

So, Astrology-Dude!  I want to register a customer complaint.  Don't change my astrological domain; consider me for a grandfathering clause, or so help me, I will adopt the Dark Side of Taurusness and seek you out.


  1. Ahhh! I knew I was a real Aquarius - yes!! I agree that you are much more of a Gemini than Taurus, except for the self indulgent part... I don't think it's very dark to be inquisitive or cunning, so you also have that going for you.

  2. I'm still trying to pronounce zodiacal. In my head I want to say something like zody-ACK-ill. I don't think I'm a Leo either -- whatever that is.

  3. Jim says that's a lot of bull.

  4. No freaking way I'm a Leo. I have no Leo traits, except for the arrogant insistance that I am still a Virgo.

  5. Apparently the Minnesota astronomer is not the first to take note of this issue, in fact there are opinions that Newton and Galileo knew all about this and did not come to the same conclusions as the Minnesota astronomer.

    An alternative opinion can be read here:

  6. omg, you're not a gemini! no way! i was not for this shift; but i might just prefer u were a taurus. however whatever would we do with your evil twin?
    and that would make my husband(the gemini) a taurus, which i don't believe for a min.
    my beloved, son, howver would change to an aquarius, which might be even better then his current wonderful sign of pisces.
    myself i'm still a Leo, hear me roar. "D

  7. feel the worst for theOphiuchus, do they even have a symbol? and what do u people who shifted do with all yr. coffee cups,paraphenelia stuff.

  8. Although I've never attended to my sign, there is something right with the world that I am now the sign that you've been for your whole life - something about couples growing to look like each other - fortunately for you I only mean that metaphorically, or should I say, astrologically.

    Your other half