Tuesday, 6 November 2012
Angst + Angst = Chocolate
Like any decent planner, I had a picture in my mind of where I would be in 5 years, and of course, all the usual suspects were part of it.
Really, I saw myself as half of the family alpha dog, toothless but aware of all the goings-on and happily presiding over some of them. It was an innocent enough picture, and one based on what had been turning out to be a nice combination of family, friends, work, leisure and travel.
I'd heard that the years speed by faster the older you get, and that had actually been my experience for the most part:grandchildren morphing from babies to lanky kids, our kids shedding their worst characteristics in favour of becoming loving and responsible adults, our own selves trying to stay ahead of our memories, and not actually doing very well at that.
And the picture started changing. I got more and more involved in my volunteer work, and started collaborating a bit with Dave on his work, he signed new and more complicated contracts and before I knew it, we seem to each be living alone together in this tiny apartment, each with our schedules, neither with our full capacities and both puzzled by how we got here. And did I mention meals? We used to have our breakfasts together, and most of our dinners, but that's been replaced by late and solitary breakfast for one and early and solitary for the other, not always the same early one but still solitary. Lunch is yoghurt or look after yourself. Dinner? Dinner happens when one of us is hungry enough to see if there's something to eat. I can go a long time....
Until then, I'll be the slightly hungry one at the laptop in the bedroom.