Actually, I've been missing myself---I just can't seem to get the balance in my life that I need. Thank god my family is a generous one. Or maybe they're just apathetic.
I've been a volunteer, one way or another, all my remembered life. And I know, there are those of you who think that might be right back to 2007. I always got such a personal reward from volunteering, and up until this last work with a national organization I won't name, I've always been able to figure out how to say, "Would love to do that, but I just can't" when I needed to.
I wonder if I feel unable to manage this because things are so dire, so not-working, in this really important and valuable organization , or if it's that I'm afraid if I slow down they'll find out they can do without me.
That's pathetic. And worse than pathetic because I actually believe it's both. I think I've known that for a while and still haven't worked out how to have my cake and eat it too.
Some of the things I've considered:
- changing my name
- adding a new letter to the middle of my email address
- pulling out my hair
- completely quitting in a snit
- completely quitting in a suit
- completely quitting with grace and honour
- moving very far
- staying home but never answering the phone
- giving up all technology invented after the quill pen
- living in a tent in the locker room of our building
- doing nothing but eating Magnum Mini Bars and drinking sparkly wine till my arteries burst
- starting my own organization in support of people who don't know how to unvolunteer
- quitting my ownmade-up organization in a selfless act of leading by example
- moving "blog-writing" from last place on my ToDo list
Nah, I'll probably just have another teeny-tiny Lindt chocolate square and another teeny-tiny glass of wine, and then go sleep for at least 3 hours.