Search This Blog

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Easter version of A Christmas Carol

One of the things that makes me sad on religious holidays is my memory of having loved them, anticipated them, participated in them, and taken joy in them.  I miss that.  I miss that for my kids and my grandchildren, and if I let myself think about it too long, I start feeling guilty and playing the "if only" game.

There wasn't any way that things could have gone differently while I was determined to do the things I needed to do to keep strong and healthy and to give my children the future they deserved, so I don't regret leaving my first marriage even though I knew the price.  I don't wish I hadn't taken the actions that were so necessary, but as I suspected I would, I did bang my head against the wall and wish it could have been otherwise, and mostly that was about the loss of the familiar and satisfying culture of the Church.

I respect people of faith---I envy them even.  I've seen the strength and comfort they enjoy. Nothing has been able to take the place of faith, but I could never let myself creep in through the back door by ignoring things I'd believed to be true all my prior life.

Hmmm, I started out this post to say that I hoped this weekend had been restorative and peaceful for my family and friends.  I still hope that was the case, and I think I can say it is true for me, but it's not the same.








8 comments:

  1. Lorna, I recently came across this quote and I think it hits the spot...
    "Never regret anything. Because, at one time, it was exactly what you needed."

    Wishing you and your loved ones a Happy Easter!!
    xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. I sometimes have some trouble respecting the concept of faith, even though I suppose I respect the faithful whom I know. Does that make sense?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You always make sense, AC; it's a jungle of thought out there.

      Delete
  3. Knowing you, Lorna, God is everywhere for you, not just in the institutional church. You are in divine order.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree with Fran!!!! We all take our own path to God. Mine is a rocky one.


    Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh. -- Henry David Thoreau

    ReplyDelete
  5. I too agree with Fran. No sense regretting what you cannot change.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Since my Christian faith is an important part of my life, and includes the institutinal concept, I feel there is always room for one more person. My concept of faith including the church is a hospital for sinners which we all are--no exceptions.

    Yes, its members can be cantankerous, judgemental, exclusive. I searched all my life for a perfect one, and never found one. But late in my life, I currently am with one I love the most, maybe because I found it late in my life when I needed it the most.

    A lot of us miss the music associated with special events connected with faith. My favorite hymn at Easter is THE HOLY CITY (The New Jerusalem). I play it over and over from a CD.

    Regrets born of necessity should be placed in a FORGET file. None of us make decisions like your with weighing the positive and negative effects. The choice is usually the column with the most +'s.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Watch some Hitchens on Youtube, that will make you feel sorry for the poor deluded faithful. Religion is toxic. Knowledge is power. I can't tell you how totally indifferent I feel toward the religious. I used to hate them. Now I simply think the nice ones infected but harmless. And the gay bashing mean spirited ones dolts and charlatans. Peace

    ReplyDelete