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Saturday, 7 February 2015

The cost of vanity

I admit it.  I like to amuse people.  Mostly that's why I tell stories.

However, sometimes the amusing things were not done for the reason of making people smile.

Not long ago, I was very pleased to find a lipstick that was almost exactly the colour I have been looking for since my hair turned grey.  Almost, but not quite.  I bought it anyway.

I was wearing it when I went out the other day and stopped by a Shoppers' Drug Mart where the people who work in cosmetics are really helpful.  "Could you show me a lipstick a little brighter than the one I have on, and it needs to be moisturizing as well?"  Those were the words that flung me into more pain than I have experienced in a long time.

"You ought to try this one...." said a perky person, holding the very lipstick I was wearing.  We laughed at how silly we were.  "Oh, now this is just in, it must be the next improvement on the one you have with the colour on one side and the balm on the other."

I looked and it was SO right.  It came in a superior case and a slightly larger size for the same darn good price, and both the colour and the balm looked wonderful.  "This is a sealer, not a'll love it."  I'd paid and was gone in next to no time.

At home that night, I took off my makeup and remembered to try the new lipstick.  Hmm, it came with a brush instead of the soft pointy applicator I was used to.  Maybe that would make the colour go on smoother.  It did.  Smoother and exactly like applying acid.  I jumped around a bit, looked at the colour, and it was so right that I decided, even though my lips were both numb and screaming, to put on the sealer.

My dear God, my lips felt hard and slick like plastic and none of the colour was removable!  After a lot of smarting, and cursing, and wiping and scrubbing, I got it off, and placed it in my purse with the receipt.

When I went back to SDM, there was no trouble offering me a refund.  "No,'s just not the refund!  This is a dangerous product!" I said righteously.  He couldn't have cared less.   In high dudgeon, I insisted he come back with me to the place where I'd bought the product, so he would be able to tell people that it might hurt.  

When we got back there, I picked up the product in another colour, and somehow realized that though it was packaged like a lipstain, it was nail polish.  With a super sealer.


  1. Well told. I can't tell a story or a joke really. I can come up with a description or a quip, but no stories or jokes. So, you go girl. :)


    That reminds me of the time I put ear drops in my eye!

  3. Sounds dangerous: lips of steel that glisten like roses in a spring mist.

  4. I hope Heartinhand will tell the story of eardrops in the eye. Could you see the sound of people speaking to you? Hear them eyeballing you from across the barroom floor?

  5. YIKES! LOL Glad you're okay... and sense of humor still in tact. ;)